My Experience

I’m not a researcher or a sex therapist. I’m not doing this because of my Doctorate, or research, nor do I claim to be a sex therapist. No offense to anyone who comes from those backgrounds.

I am a person who works hard as a sex educator from personal experience and concern. I came to be polyamorous and kinky due to a lot of reasons.  I decided to make myself available to share some of the life and relationship experiences I’ve gathered over the last 50 years. I have made my share of mistakes and I want to give folks the option to learn from me, and …hopefully, avoid mine.

Let me start off with a few facts about me.

First, I have an adult son that is wonderfully supportive and amazingly similar to his weird dad. He’s grown up poly and he’s learned things that folks older than I will never understand about loving, compersion, and acceptance of people. I’m really proud of him.

I just used a poly term I’ll use in other places. That’s compersion. It means  to get happiness and joy from another person’s happiness and joy.

My true passion is organizing and other grassroots motivational tools to advocate for, educate, and empower people to accept and embrace themselves

…. mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and sexually.

I’ve been in recovery since 1990 and I am a survivor of abuse. I’m Pagan, a devotee and Priest of Pan.

What that means for our purpose

  • I am an advocate for freedom
  • the exercise of free will, and
  • I believe that denying yourself pleasure is silly

Don’t mistake me, you *have* to take responsibility and accept the consequences for your actions and choices.

I’m active in my local and regional Pagan community and I’ve been the Event Organizer for Indy Pagan Pride Day for 18 of it’s 21 years. I really love going to and organizing festivals and my favorite color is teal 😉

I’ve been an active polyamorist since I started dating at the age of 14.

Back then,…

I had a really bad habit of falling for best friends. Then, somehow I would manage to find myself dating both of them. And others. It would go mostly smoothly and  I was lucky that any time the girls would stop being friends, usually neither would ask me to stop seeing the other, but it did happen on occasion and those had their own set of issues.

I’m really not sure how I lucked out on that.

From the beginning, I was always open and upfront about who else I was dating besides that person  and I wasn’t involved in my first “closed/ monogamous” relationship until I was 24.

I’ve been involved with the local poly and kink communities since 1996.

I’ve attended events in Indy, Bloomington, Columbus and Louisville and I’m looking for new places to go and share as well as orgaize my own events. Recently, after 10 years, I decided to step down as the organizer of our local Poly Meetup. We’d grown to over 1000 members and,  at one point we had over 7 events a month on all sides of metro Indy, It’s something I’m really proud of.

However, I felt it was time for new management and it was time for new blood and I needed to move on to new projects, like this one.

I’ve organized and run camping and workshop events focused on polyamory, kink and alternative and sacred sexuality for over 15 years. Most recently this has incarnated as Libertine, an event held over Labor Day Weekend. It’s on a temporary hiatus at the moment, but, Go to www.labordaylibertine.com to watch for the announcement of our next event.

I’ve been in just about every type of relationship configuration you can come up with. I’m pansexual and I’ve been in Triads, quads, quints, V’s, W’s, X, Y, and Z’s. I have had up to 7 ongoing, commited, long term (like more than 2 years) relationships while still finding time to find new people to date and connect with. Anytime I sit down and try to map out a visio of who is seeing who, it looks like we’re smashing atoms together with resulting chain reactions.

Google calendar is my life. Just saying.

Yes, I’m a real live practicing Non-Monogamist.

While, there are times it can look more like Relationship Anarchy than Polyamory, I don’t really care about the labels.

I currently have one nesting partner and multiple other partners with different dynamics and emotional needs.